34/365 thoughts on a Sunday

The other day, I saw the new TVC of Jollibee. It’s a short drama entitled and about “Choice”.

I remembered it again today. The TVC moved me. I was able to relate not because I had a past (ex) and present.

I relate because, almost three years ago, one of my close friends from high school died from the same cause as in the tvc – aneurysm (so I was told).

He was Allan.

We became close when we had to be moved to be seat-mates in class, until the end of our 4th year in school. Ever since then, he became my kuya (big brother). He was so nice to me I’d always feel safe when he’s in class and be sad when he’s absent. He wasn’t just a kuya by pet name. He really was that big brother to me then.

I wrote him a farewell letter on our graduation day. And right after the ceremony, he looked for me and gave me a kiss on the cheek and a hug. I never thought that would be the last.

We never saw each other since then. Social networking sites were born and he’s one of the first few persons I searched for but I never found him. Or maybe I did not search enough.

16 years after graduation, I received a news. The news that instantly made me tear up. “Wala na si Allan” (“Allan’s gone”). We were told it was aneurysm. I was in the middle of my vacation that time, enjoying Bohol with friends from work. And I was suddenly quiet. All the memories I have of him flashed back at me.

It was as if I lost a biological big brother. One of my HS friends who had been close to him even until after high school told me that Allan himself told her before that I was his little sister.

So I lost a kuya.

His passing really affected me that for two straight weeks, I tear up just from the thought of him. Until one of my friends told me I had to move on so he could move on (eternally, speaking), too.

I talked to him in my thoughts. And then one day, when I woke up from a nap on the bus on my way home, I thought I saw him in my dream, and it was a happy feeling after.

It was then I chose to celebrate instead of mourn.


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