finding work is like finding love

Finding work is like finding love.

My first ex, lasted for 6.9 years. I had always thought it was “the one” – the company where I could stay until I retire. My recent ex, we only lasted for 1 year and 7 months. It had been a roller coaster ride.

It was not them. It was me. Well, for the first one, yeah. I chose to leave because I have my reasons. I had always wanted to stay for another 4 years, but things changed and I just had to leave. The second one, I also did choose to leave but the difference is that they gave me enough reasons to do so. It was an easy decision.  I only had a difficult time making my final decision because of people. People have always been both my strength and weakness when it comes to staying. My “staying power” always comes from the people who are both good and nice to work with.

On Monday, February 16, I officially started with my 3rd. I was welcomed with happy greetings from friends and old colleagues.  It was nice to see familiar faces, some of which were old friends from my 1st. However, aside from being excited, I was a bit nervous and scared, uneasy as well. But only they (my friends) know why. It feels like an old atmosphere but in a different and new location. I began to ask myself if I am really ready for this new beginning. I SHOULD be.

I worry myself more. Thinking that these people first met and knew me as a very quiet person. Years have passed and things have changed, and through the years I’ve been to different circumstances that made me change as well. I was once quiet, but I am a little outspoken now.

One of my friends told me that my aura now is different from the time we last worked together, saying I am now more cheerful than three years ago. Yes, I admit that I feel that I am more bubbly than before. I now greet people with the same happy face, I joke around, I laugh (and sometimes a loud) happily whenever I feel like it.

But, honestly, now that I am in the same atmosphere as my first, it makes me worry that I’d go back to my old self – quiet, doesn’t talk much, will only speak when asked, and shy. I don’t want to.

I pray that everything will be okay from this week, onwards. I am now starting to tell and remind myself to “learn the act of not caring too much of what I will see, hear, or feel from people who doesn’t even have the right to judge me”.

I may have all these worries in mind now, but I’d like to just keep only positive thoughts.

🎶Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. Yeah.🎶 -Closing Time, Semisonic

It is true – God lets us meet a few wrong ones so that we will know how to be grateful and take care of the right one that He will soon give us in His time.

I have never been (yet) in any romantic relationship for me to think that finding love is like finding work, I just really love to know that it is.😉

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