Your Choice. Your Call. Your Fate. Your Life.

There was this story that I have heard many times from different story-tellers (priests, pastors, random people, and even read it somewhere) about a man who was having a hard time deciding what career to choose: to be a priest, or leave the seminary and start building his own family. He prayed one day that if someone comes up to him and give him flowers then he would stay in the seminary and become a priest, but if no one comes up, then he would have to leave (actually, im not really sure about what the second condition really was). And so, after he prayed, as he went outside the church, there was a child who ran up to him and gave him sampaguita (? –am I making up stories? Haha.. sakyan nyo na lang..hehe), then he thought that, that maybe the answer to his prayers—God may be telling him through the child that he should stay. But just after a few seconds, a woman came up to him to “bless” and told him “ang gwapo nyo naman father, sayang”.. whoa!

The man ended up leaving the seminary.. hehehehe

..the way I tell the story may not be as exact as how the others who knew it well, did.. but I hope you somehow understand what the story is trying to teach us..

They say that asking for signs is a SIGN of weakness in faith.

Some of us are used to asking for signs because we believe that signs tell us what He really wants for us.

*Guilty as charged*. Ehem ehem.. hehehe

2 nights ago (that was on Wednesday, 2/25’09), when I read the first few pages of my newly-bought book by Bo Sanchez entitled “How To Find Your One True Love, I realized that no matter what the signs are and how those signs are revealed to us, at the EOD, we will always be the one to choose.

I remember what Bo shared in the book, about the time he was facing the same decision-making situation as above.. He was praying for the right path to choose: the path to celibacy, or the path to having his own family and serve God in the ways he knows well. He even went on a 3-day retreat to have his prayers answered, with only a priest with him. His prayers were answered on the third day. It’s when he thought he heard these two simple words:

“You choose.”

..hehe.. Upon reading those two words, I repeated it to myself while imagining how God looked like when He told Bo those..

Actually as I am writing (rather typing.. hehe) in this minute I am imagining God with one eyebrow raised, and a smile, slightly bending to me while saying “You choose Jokel, Ako bahala pramis.. Madaming pramis” 😉

And to quote a line from Bo’s book.. this is what Fr. Manoling (the priest he was with) told him:

“We think that God’s will is found out there, somewhere in the stars. That’s not true. God’s will is found within. Ultimately, God’s will is your deepest desire.”

dyokjoc: “eh..Lord, deepest desire ko si ano.. suportahan niyo kaya ako..? hehe.. joke lang!”

GodBlessEveryone! 🙂 🙂 🙂

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boat afloat

 

No storm can destroy my sail,
No water can sink my boat..
No rain can blurr my sight,
My faith will keep me afloat..

No wind can blow me down
No leader can make me kiss the ground
No person deserves my tears
Only HIM who washes away my fears..

No tune can make me dance
No song can make me sing
No one can really know my weakness and pacify my sadness
Only HIM and the feel of HIS presence..

No one has ever made me write this way
Never have i written something like this but today
Nothing has ever made me love what i do
I’m now doing all this not just because I have to..

No storm can destroy my faith
No water can sink my hopes
No rain can wash my joys away
Coz I will trust and give or leave everything up
in HIS Hands starting today..

a few hours of your day versus a whole of mine..

i have been able to adjust my time, even share my whole day several times and would sometimes take a day off work..today is the only time that i really can’t..and it’s sad to know that they can’t even sacrifice a few hours of their time for me..

ang lungkot pala talagang marealize na minsan kung anong kaya mong gawin para sa ibang tao lalo na close friends mo, eh hindi nila magawa kahit man lang katiting nung extent ng ginawa mo.. baka akala niyo nanunumbat ako for feeling this way.. but I’M NOT.. dumating na lang siguro sa point na yung observation ko eh nagiging consistent.. kumbaga sa expression “parang nakakahalata na ako ah”..

i have not been tired of going extra mile just so makumpleto un mga taong gusto ko maging kumpleto sa isang specific day.. i have also gone a long mile just so i can attend a friend’s “Big Day” tipong extra mile na un for me dahil ako yun tipong tamad talaga magfile ng leave.. lalo na kung kakaroll-in ko palang..but i have done that saying na by hook or by crook hindi niyo ako mapapapasok sa araw na yun, magwawala ako.. i have done those without IFs, without BUTs, without hesitation.. only to discover that they can’t even give me 4 – 5 hours of their time..

“Business is Business” –so they say.. grabe namang business yan di pwedeng isara ng mga 6:30 or 7pm for one day? eh 7 days-a-week tapos more or less 12 hours nakabukas yang business na yan..?? ako nga willing akong pumasok ng sobrang aga para 530pm wala nako sa building ng office just for this day.. tapos hihiritan ako ng kung pwede 11am na lang para kumpleto tayo? ..in all those times na dapat din kumpleto kame pinilit ko sila, pero it’s either hindi pwede dahil sa hindi daw talaga pwede, OR meron naman ipagpalit un araw na yun dahil sa biglang may pasok sya sa araw na dati pa nyang sinasabi off nya ang araw na yun..tapos ngayon sasabihin para kumpleto? friendship ring na pinagpalit sa ticket ng concert ni sarah geronimo, sinong hindi mapapamura jan..?

galit? hindi ako galit.. kase di ko rin namang kayang magalit.. at sa tuwing naiisip kong magalit naiiyak na lang ako..kase nga hindi ko magawang magalit… palilipasin ko na lang muna mga araw hanggang sa makalimutan ko na at topakin ulet ako ng maganda..

pero sa ngayon eto na muna ang sentiments ko–un narealize ko, na..

unfortunately, nobody wants to waste even a quarter of their time with me no matter how many times i’ve been willingly able to give my WHOLE DAY just to be with them..

..haaaaayyy..

am i too bad to post this..? whether or not im bad for posting this.. i wont care anymore.. bket ba, blog ko toh, akin toh.. charing! 🙂

aynako! talaga naman! ang hirap magalit pag mahal mo yun mga taong dahilan kung bakit ka nagagalit! di ko magawang magalit! 🙂

let the time heal this wound for about… hmm.. i dunno.. siguro pag napanuod ko na un seven pounds.. basta.. wag  muna tayo magkita.. 🙂

kaya naman nilang kumilos ng wala ako, AKO lang naman ang hindi kayang gumalaw ng wala sila, rather nang mag-isa eh..

*minsan siguro kelangan ko na rin talagang matutong mag-isa..*

 


Blind Spot: ikaw ang api sa sarili mong nobela, ikaw ang bida sa sarili mong istorya

“ako ang api, ako ang tama.. kawawa ako, kinakawawa nila ako” –yan.. para kang kabayong isang direksyon lang ang pakialam -harap lang ang nakikita, wala nang kanan, wala nang kaliwa.. “ako lang ang dapat intindihin kase ako ang bida sa sarili kong kwento”

iba ang hindi mo makita, sa ayaw mong tingnan.. iba rin ang hindi mo makita sa nakikita mo na, pero ayaw mo lang tanggapin na kita mo na.. mahirap makita ang isang bagay lalo na kung nagbubulagbulagan ka lang.. gets mo ba?

isa pa..one more time.. magkaiba ang “hindi mo maintindihan” sa “ayaw mong intindihin” ..yan.. gets mo na..?

minsan, when we feel that people around us don’t treat us nicely, we think that there’s something wrong in them.. na mali sila for treating us that way, na hindi nila tayo maintindihan kaya ganun treatment nila sa atin, na sila mga naglalakad na EWAN t tayo ang matino.. na sila ang may problema at hindi tayo..

hmm.. natural lang sa natural, at normal lang na isipin natin na tayo ang tama at sila ang mali sa pagtrato nila sa atin, normal lang ang isipin ang ganun kase nga mind set natin is “ako ang api, ako ang tama, ako ang nasa lugar”..

pero, have we tried to look at the situation not from the position where we are..? have we tried to be on other people’s shoes to realize that there are things we’ve been missing..? baka nga naman tama or may reason talaga sila for acting that way towards us..

pano nga naman natin makikita if we refuse to see things na nakikita ng iba.. pano nga naman natin maiintindihan kung ayaw naman natin talagang intindihin..

minsan para tayong mga kabayo lalo na pag ayaw na nating makinig sa mga sasabihin ng iba.. isang direksyon lang ang nakikita.. kung ano ang nasa harapan un lang ang pinagtutuunan ng pansin.. the rest? blind spot na.. kung hanggang san lang ang abot ng tanaw natin, un lang at dun lang tayo may pakialam..

diko alam pero kumbaga sa picture.. let’s say picture mosaic.. kung titingnan mo lang talaga siya, isang muka or isang picture lang ang makikita mo at kahit na anong pilit sa’yo na there’s more to it than just a plain picture, hindi ka na makukumbinsi kase nga kung ano lang un nasa harap mo yun lang ang pake mo.. but if you’ll look at the picture more closely, you’ll discover and realize that there’s more to it pa pala..

yan ang natutunan ko sa Monalisa Smile, don’t just look at the picture, look behind the picture.. parang sa Patch Adams din na sabi nung isang matanda “try to see what others don’t see or refuse not to see”..

madami kaseng mga bagay na hindi natin nakikita at madalas ayaw nating tanggaping nakikita na natin un dapat nating makita.. one of the reasons for this is that ayaw natin malamang may mali rin tayo..

minsan feeling natin we already look good.. kase tayo un eh.. eto tayo, un pala may uling pala tayo sa muka.. ayaw nating maniwala sa iba na may dumi tayo.. alam natin malinis tayo kase hindi naman natin nakikita..

minsan kelangan natin matutunan na may mga bagay na nakikita ng iba na hindi natin nakikita.. at di natin makikita ito hangga’t di natin binubuksan un isip natin sa katotohanang hindi lahat alam natin tungkol sa sarili natin at sa ibang tao..